Turning Back Time

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Turning Back Time

This week, I found myself thinking more about time than usual. I returned to my home country of Sweden to honor and celebrate my mother-in-law's 80th birthday. 

Spending a few days in my homeland is a bit like entering a time machine that transports me to my youth. The streetscape, the people, the food, and almost all experiences in Sweden were etched into my soul so early, so deeply, and so profoundly that anytime I come back it feels like revisiting many of the moments that shaped me. Many of our senses, smell, and taste particularly, can transport you back in time instantly.

We were also joined by three of our kids who also began their lives back in Sweden. On this trip, they also shared some of their early life experiences with a few of their children. In this way, this trip was particularly sentimental. It was wonderful to experience this intergenerational travel and imagine what it would be like to move across time.

Spending our time sifting through early memories, together with four living and active generations, certainly put our lives in their proper perspective of gratitude. It was a great trip, and we were happy that we could celebrate a woman who continues to be such a role model in our lives. It was special, indeed.

So, back to time. It's such a vital part of life, isn't it? To some extent, it is everything. It's all that we have really. Our lives are not much more than the sum of how we chose to spend the time we have. What else is there?

I also like time, functionally speaking, so far as it is the most democratically distributed of all resources. Every human gets 24 hours per day. Nothing more, nothing less. What we do with it is entirely our own choice. Yes, I recognize context varies perhaps too much, which results in drastically different outcomes, at times. But even within similar contexts, people who use their time differently are certainly the ones who do create different outcomes.

Age is, of course, one chronological aspect of time. It measures how long we have lived. But it is just that—a number. It says very little about our attitudes, our expectations, or what we have or will fill our time with.

While we can't turn back our time (at least, not yet), there are important lessons to be learned attitudinally. It's the old adage: We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old when we stop playing.

One incredibly powerful example of this is Ellen Langer's work. She is a Harvard Psychologist who wrote a great book called: Counterclockwise: Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility.

By the way, LOVE that title, Counterclockwise. It gives a hint to a key to most successful endeavors— they are often a tad "counter" and against the grain. Without friction, there is no spark, after all. It also points to the need to contemplate the end and go back from there. “Living life in reverse,” as I call it. We can't make the right decisions unless we have a clearer view of what the end goal is. I wrote about this more extensively in this post.

Professor Langer created an experiment, that was later featured in a BBC television program called “The Young Ones”. The gist of the experiment was to construct a time capsule where older participants basically lived for a week in an environment exactly the way it was in a previous time of their lives. After a week, participants showed signs of de-aging and letting go of some of their own limiting beliefs. The experiment showed that many people regained abilities they thought they had lost. In actuality, they were probably simply dormant.

You can read this great article from Richard Leider who wrote a guest post in the Modern Elder Academy newsletter. The point is that we are affected massively by our environment. What's going on inside ourselves, but also what is going on in our immediate surroundings. Many times, before, I have discussed our important job as curators to our lives, both in regards to who and what we let in. It might be one of our most critical jobs. Saying “yes” to what you want to become. And “no” to what you don't! 

I found Langer's work on this topic to be both intriguing, interesting, and important. We often create habits out of comfort. We reduce friction. We get convenient. But those conveniences can accelerate our feeling of getting old. Just one trivial example. Automatic door openers are very helpful when you simply cannot open a door. But we should try to open doors manually as long as it is humanly possible. Even when it is difficult.

The same goes for using the stairs, even when elevators are more convenient. Stairs help keep our muscles more active and stronger for longer. I can go on. But the message is the same: when we remind ourselves often about what we can do, and what we used to be able to do, it helps us keep those abilities longer. I can feel this time shift whenever I play songs from my youth that I loved. Not sure they go as far as "de-aging" me, but I certainly feel invigorated, which I guess is the point. 

I think we all treat time more seriously as we grow older. It's natural, as we simply have less and less of it left. But rather than worry about how MUCH time we have (quantity) we should be more focused on HOW WELL that time is spent (quality). I have some dear friends who help me often to be focused on QTR (quality time remaining). So, thank you to Steve and Judi! It's invaluable to have friends that keep you honest! 

Have a great week. Make the most of your time!

This is an updated TED summary with some new great talks released.