The Inner Path
Friends!
Thank you to those who engaged with my blog last week. It's exactly what I hope to achieve -- a good conversation about topics that generate reactions and discussions. My own view, to be clear, is NEVER that the thoughts, articles, and ideas expressed here are necessarily "right or wrong." That's not the point of this newsletter. Ideas are often both. They can be right and wrong, depending on the context, perspective, and how far you take the idea itself. The point, rather, is to make us think. And to engage in a conversation precisely like so many of you do. Please keep it up. Share it with other friends. Let's create some waves!
The idea shared last week in regards to the “Paradox of Choice” is a case in point. I think the "push back," or questions, if you will, around the proposition were less about the concept, and more about its implications. It’s not too controversial, in and of itself, to suggest that at some point along a continuum of plentiful choices that the value of even more choices diminishes or possibly even detracts value from our lives. Most people probably can relate to the law of diminishing returns. The inherent question is, of course, more around: what are the risks in limiting choices? How would you even do that? And, perhaps most importantly: WHO DECIDES?
That brings me to perhaps one of the most fundamental topics in life: the idea of internalizing vs externalizing life. I often refer to that as “innerizing” and “otherizing,” meaning: do you generally believe that what happens to you is a result of your own actions or the actions of others? It’s something I have written about many times before. Once here and another time here (and many times in between.) And it will remain a core theme of many of my musings until my voice itself tapers off. That's how central of a core philosophy this is to me.
Jerry Garcia, the famous Grateful Dead guitarist, said many times: "Somebody has to do something, and it is just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us."
It's funny. And it's funny because, like all good humor, it reminds us of our own fallacies and deeper truths. We all know that if we truly want to have a better outcome, we are most likely going to find the answer in the mirror rather than looking elsewhere. Of course, we can buy lottery tickets and get lucky. We can work hard for better schools, better politics, better health care systems, and support favorite charities. And let me be clear. It's not a binary choice at all. We need to start with ourselves and do as much as we can AND THEN help build better institutions to serve us all.
But, aren’t we prone to "otherizing" problems too much in our public conversations? Aren't you tired of all the finger-pointing? En masse, we prioritize blame over solutions. In our media, in our politics, and in the bulk of our discourse, we bear witness to a common thread: they are more concerned with allocating wrongs than empowering belonging and a shared sense of responsibility. While problems are affecting people differently all the time and everywhere, we would all be better off if we could redirect the nature of our conversations back to us. What can we do?
In the game of blame, finger-pointing, and sowing division, politics would probably be the most obvious victor. However, it might be more instructive to look at some other arenas, as well. Let me give you two of my favorites: the practice of law and the promotion of health.
Especially in America, our lives are steeped in litigation, in ways we are conscious and unconscious of. The layering of lawyers is a sign of escalating "otherization." Many people turn to lawsuits and demonstrate a concerning dependency on lengthy rules and regulations in a belief that "contracts" more than "conscience" will rule the day. It has had the exact opposite effect. Please read the excellent George Will article below if you aren't sure. He also quotes Philip Howard who is dedicating his life to reducing red tape which he believes (and I strongly agree) acts as an effective barrier, not an enabler, to individual and collective action for good.
Another pertinent example is our own health (which is also a favorite topic of mine, as you probably know.) Obviously, the litigious nature of our culture mentioned above has also significantly contributed to a highly inefficient and ineffective health care system. But beyond that, we hear endlessly, particularly during this pandemic, about the problems with the health of our population. We are willing to spend trillions of dollars on various forms of injections (literally and figuratively) that will help people. While that is, of course, good, I wish we spent an equal amount of time, energy, and resources on how people can help themselves. By eating better, sleeping more, stressing less, and loving deeper. Far more people die every year (including this year) from poor lifestyle choices than from anything else. Please also read the great post below by my good friend Dr. Mark Hyman around this very topic.
Turning our attention inwards is a difficult thing to do. It takes discipline, commitment, and daily practice. For some reason, it's easier and more convenient to invest your hopes in other people’s actions. Perhaps part of our problem here is that it might feel like too small of a solution. What can I really do to change these big problems around me? That is where we all go wrong. We can’t let what we can’t do get in the way of what we can do. It’s a much better strategy in life to do what you can and then try to ignore what you can’t.
Obviously, people find themselves in varying degrees of hardships and tough circumstances. I am NOT saying that escaping from habits or environments, physiological or psychological, is easy. It is not. Nor am I suggesting some people don't need a helping hand. Upon occasion, we all do. But I am saying our own choices still matter more than our public conversation tends to reminds us of.
Here are some of my old-time favorite sources of inspiration on this important topic:
Will Smith talking to kids (2 minutes) and why running and reading are the keys to life. LOVE THAT.
The George Will article mentioned above. If you can't open it, please refer to my prior blog where I have a lot of meaty materials around Philip Howard (and Dov Seidman), the limitations of rules, etc.
Mark Hyman's post around our own health and what we can do about it, including a push for his new book. Eat it up!
So many books. So many books. But, if I had to pick 5 on the theme they would be (others can be found on my bookshelf here):
Victor Frankl - Man's Search for Meaning
Scott Peck - The Road Less Traveled
Stephen R Covey - 7 Habits of Highly Effective people
Jonathan Sacks - The Politics of Hope
Joseph Jaworski's Synchronicity - the inner path of leadership
Here is my parting thought, and, I guess, a sign of my wishful thinking. What if every conversation about any problem included BOTH ideas for what OTHERS could do, as well as what WE should do to contribute to solutions? Victor Frankl suggested we need to add a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast to counterbalance our Statue of Liberty on the East Coast. Perhaps not a totally crazy idea, after all.
Appropriately, I, therefore, end with Gandhi and Frankl. Two leaders who so manifestly inspired the world to look within ourselves for most answers.
Have a beautiful week.
