RE-turning or RE-tooling

Happy Fathers Day!

I am writing this from an airplane well above the Atlantic Ocean. Being in the clouds seems like the appropriate setting to understand my own emotional landscape as we return from our first visit back to our home country of Sweden after a most unusual year. As always, I seek an elevated perspective for all topics in life both personal, professional, and philosophical -- per the name of this newsletter.

I am reflecting on the prefix RE. 

We typically use it to refer to the notion of "again." A backward motion indicating repetition, the same as the “repeat” symbol on music players, a looping arrow. While it seems more and more clear that the world is starting its climb back to some normalcy, it is less clear how much of the past people want to go back to. Certainly not all of it.

I think this contributes to some of our inner confusion. It's a complex cocktail of emotions. We have experienced loss, fear, sadness, and an intense sense of longing for both people and experiences. But we have also discovered new habits, enjoyed less traffic, less travel, and perhaps deepened relationships with those near to us. We have also experienced the magic and convenience of modern technologies that allowed us to socialize and work remotely. 

As Schumpeter taught us, there is value in creative destruction. In the midst of chaos, it is difficult to find your way out. And most of us look for the familiar doors. The paths and routes we know. But new paths are made by walking into the unknown, and these chaotic disruptions, often surprisingly, lead us to insights that ultimately can help us reach new levels of progress. Necessity is the mother of invention, they do say. 

We have all just been through this most abnormal year. Very few had any experience with a global pandemic, in memory or practice. The reality we all faced came upon us as most problems do. Gradually, then suddenly.

At first, most signs of problems are ignored, denied, or suppressed.  They often appear from places far away, happens to people we don’t know, and demonstrate patterns we aren’t familiar with. Therefore, they cannot possibly happen to us. Invincibility, rather than vulnerability, is the default.

But as the pandemic hit closer to home, and in many cases in our homes, we realized we had to adjust to a new reality. Everything changed. We had to distance ourselves both from other people, but also from our own habits, which of course made the experience surreal on so many levels. Even visually, everything began to look different in our public lives: masks, signage, seating, queues, commercials, tv shows, menus, procedures. Everything, and everyone, revolved around the virus. It’s hard to think of a single entity that wasn’t impacted.   

It really is impossible to process. At least, for me. The combination of separation, isolation, fear, loss, and complete uncertainty for the future contributed to a feeling of rootlessness, weirdness, unfamiliarity, and dislocation. Humanity felt unmoored. 

While much uncertainty remains, I have at least come to the conclusion, for where I live, that the vaccines are safe and effective and that I want to, and am ready to, return to a more normal life. 

Therefore, as soon as it made sense, Jessica and I figured out how to go to Sweden, how to comply with different countries' COVID restrictions, and off we went. 

So, how do you prepare emotionally for this re-entry? What do you expect to feel? 

These were questions pounding my soul as we flew over to Sweden.

So, what happened?

I don’t quite know, yet, how to summarize it all. The awkward hesitancy standing in front of your family all wondering if it’s ok to go for the full embrace you all so much want was, let me just say, interesting. I felt like an awkward teenager again trying to make my first move!  

Seeing and spending time with our family and close friends obviously felt AWESOME. The long and warm embrace of our parents was deeply comforting and relieving. Being with our friends again and sensing the joy and relief in the room made us happy. These were all welcomed, necessary, and much-needed first steps towards rebuilding and returning to a life we have missed. For sure.

As the week went on I kept thinking about how I really felt about the experience? Tried to put words to it. But I really couldn't. Mainly because it wasn't a familiar feeling. I simply had no emotional reservoir to compare to. That tank was empty!

But here it is. The bottom line. The headline feeling, if you will. 

I expected it to feel more different than it felt.

But it actually felt quite normal. Why?

There are probably many reasons for it. One is certainly that human beings have an enormous capacity to adjust to new demands. We are quite remarkable at it. 

Another reason is technology. There is no question that frequent FaceTime and Zoom calls bridged gaps that typically contribute to further distancing between people. Staying in touch, hearing, and seeing each other effectively acted as a bridge over troubled waters. Thank God! 

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, our emotional and psychological imagination, amplified by a deep desire for connection, helps us keep love alive and well.

So, here we are returning to our US home base. Relieved and re-energized. More emotions will resurface in the weeks and months ahead. I am sure of it. But we are both happy and grateful to have started the reentry process to a more human form of existence.  

To our family and friends who always show up and adjust to time-compressed requests for all sorts of meetings, we want to say how much it meant to hug and squeeze you and to physically express how much you continue to mean to our lives. Thank you to our parents who managed to stay both safe and sane. And a special shout out to Michel, Adam, and Nisse for waking early every morning and treating our bodies to a full workout.

I feel I gave you enough to read last week and will simply end this week’s reflection on a reflection.

How do you feel about re-entering the life you paused for so long?

Do you want to? Why? 

What are you looking forward to doing and what are you happy leaving behind?

This is a unique opportunity for us all to return to what we truly love and have missed and retool the areas of our lives that we'd rather not bring along. Let's help each other to be intentional and mindful of our choices.  

Have a great week.