Emotional Contradictions
Dear Friends!
Welcome to Newsletter number 2. If you missed the first, you can find it here.
The first one was rich in terms of videos and articles. This week I will share less what others think and share more personal reflections (plus some bonus things in the end!).
3 reflections from the week.
Emotional Contradictions
We are living our lives dancing across a wider emotional spectrum then we are used to. And the isolation and new habits we are practicing illuminates and amplifies many contradictions. This past week my family celebrated the birth of our 6th grandchild and we welcomed him into our Jewish tradition on his 8th day. But we were all miles apart. It wasn't what we wanted. We all felt a sense of "emptiness" for not being able to hold, hug and celebrate this joyous occasion with the people who give our lives meaning. At the same time, the positive emotions overcompensated the negatives so my "net feelings" are ones of gratitude and a sense of belonging and pride.
The virtual aspects of this celebration enabled folks from around the world to participate who normally wouldn't have traveled thousands of miles for this occasion. I have always viewed these "lifestones" (life milestones) as important milemarkers along your journey of living. Each of these moments, whether sad or happy, is a reason to pause and bring together the people who matter most in your life. They help make the journey as meaningful as the destination. And it was apparent this week that while video conferencing is a poor substitute for real lived experiences (see second article below) it can add dimensions to to our life events that we previously wouldn't have enabled. This is yet an important reminder that life is NOT black or white. Emerson used to remind us "in every wall there is a door". This challenging moment should inspire us all to find a door to a better (and also by definition) different tomorrow.
Covid Reflections
It feels insensitive to not say anything about Covid-19 right now since it occupies so much of our daily lives. While facts change every hour they have not changed enough since last week where I posted several articles and videos. But here are the 5 headlines worth stating right now:
This is a real crisis. This is the most disruptive and challenging experience almost any of us have ever faced. Measured in just about any way. Deaths (known or unknown, real or potential), economic hardship (now and in the future) and future health consequences (effects of loneliness, depression, suicides, non-Covid health problems we currently aren't treating, detecting or have the capacity to treat). The fact that this is a global experience makes the impact and scope of this crisis vast and incomprehensible.
Model variations too wide. The models we are using to guide us are not precise enough. Particularly around "attack rates" (% of population infected). I have seen numbers in the US alone ranging from 60,000 deaths to several million people dying, mainly because the uncertainty around how much of the US population have been or will be infected. Those wide ranges of uncertainty are fueling fear and broad-based solutions that are blunt and must be sharpened over time.
Testing is key. We do need to develop better, more affordable and more accurate test kits so more people can be tested. Particularly antibody tests so we can monitor immunity. We cannot rely on vaccines as a solution since they will take longer than we can wait. Therefore herd immunity is a critical component when deciding how, when and where to open up our society and also how to protect the vulnerable. Obviously we also need to learn much more around strength, length and type of immunity.
One size doesn't fit all. We struggle as a society to be nuanced. It seems the choices are that this is like a regular flu or like the Spanish flu. But it's most likely neither. It also clearly doesn't affect everyone, everywhere the same. America is a big country with vast differences. We can be more surgical in our discussions and in our delivery. The co-morbidities seem consistent in the data and hence we could be more targeted in our efforts to protect the more vulnerable groups. We need to do this with compassion and care. We are all potentially spreading the virus or getting the virus. Or both. So it is a two-way street. Yet again, a good reminder of our interdependency.
Opportunity costs are real. We cannot and should not ignore downstream effects of our interventions. Our society measures success in weeks and months and not years Sadly. While infections and fatalities right now are really important to track and hopefully reduce, we should also be equally concerned what our health looks like as a nation next year or many years from now. Every decision have consequences. We don't have the luxury of pausing the rest of our lives and economies just to "ride" out this storm. We should assess these "side-effects" with the same rigor and scientific standard as we assess everything else with this scope and scale. It's unclear that we are.
Personal Responsibility
Unfortunately, most conversations about responsibility are about someone else's responsibility. It's a significant contributor to our divisive and unproductive public discourse. We are all responsible. Much more than we often admit.
3 things to consider as we consider the role we play:
The altitude of attitude. Beyond making sure we not spreading the virus, are we spreading hope, inspiration and constructive action rather that just amplifying fear? Meditation, exercise, sleep and nutritious foods are good ways to restore your own ability to contribute positively. Talking to people with good attitudes is another good way. If you find yourself watching too much news and talking to people with just one set of facts, switch channel, call somebody else. It's refreshing.
Building your Ark. It has been stated that Noah began building the Ark before it began to rain. Well, it's raining now. So what Ark are you building? Are you using this unique time in the best possible way? Sharpening your tools? Changing things you should have changed a long time ago but never had to courage or time to do it. Necessity is the mother of invention. This is the perfect time to renew, rethink, re-engineer and reimagine.
Get closer. Physical distance is needed. But social distance is bad. Reach out to people you might not have seen or talked to for a while. Check in with them. Particularly the elderly and vulnerable that might be more worried. We have seen virtual birthdays, movie nights, cocktails, and a plethora of creative ways to connect and make sure our physical distance isn't creating emotional, psychological or social distance.
Stay safe. Stay hopeful.
Mats
This is an inspiring piece by Kevin Kelly.
Read it. Marinate in it. Loved it. Happy Birthday Kevin!
I have been a student and avid fan of Steve Blanks work for a long time.
He is the grandfather of the "lean startup" movement and I credit him for helping us understand the difference between a startup and a company. They are NOT the same species. A company is a permanent organization designed to execute a business model that is repeatable and scalable. A startup on the other hand, is a temporary organization designed to look for a business model that is repeatable and scalable. They need different skills, architecture, compensation models, systems and methodology. This is also why large companies often fail to innovate when time comes. Steve has an incredible talent at "identifying" when we are making binary judgments and has helped me and thousands of others to be mindful of our inherent binary bias. In this short piece he lays out why videoconferencing is a good way to communicate and why this unique billion people experiment has been useful but why, at least currently, video meetings can NEVER replace the real human experiences and what we can do about some of the gaps. It certainly made me think!
This is perhaps the most beautifully articulated and poetic way we could chose to interpret why this happened and why it could (and with our help will) act as a catalytic converter to the society we all dream of living in. But it won't happen by being cynical or passive. It will require real hard work. From all of us. And us giving up and changing habits and choices we used to make. So not easy. But this inspiration moved me (Thank you Michael Bronner for always reminding me of the humanity I dream of).