Embracing The Problem
Friends!
This week, I want to reflect a bit on problems. Our relationship with them and what they represent amidst the journey of our lives.
I have written before about how important it is to pause when we react instinctively (most often negatively) to something. In that pause, we can let our knee-jerk emotional reaction recede and make room for new and different interpretations. Many times, we discover that what we first saw as a threat or problem may actually be a door to new possibilities that we previously didn't know existed.
I was inspired by my friend, Brian Bacon, who often says: "A problem is an opportunity wrapped in fear." And also by the wonderful Swedish film director, Kay Pollack, who suggested that problems (and certain people!) should be considered to be gifts, as they provide an opportunity to practice handling difficult situations.
It took a while for me to embrace those ideas fully, but I now find them to be liberating and core pillars to a happier life. And after decades of practice, I now dare to even claim that I occasionally master the spirit of them. However, many days, I fail badly. And to those who have been on the receiving end in any such moments, I do apologize!
It is a useful frame to consider our lives within – as frames go. When a “problem” occurs, we often have a fight-or-flight response. Some people seem to collect problems. Some seem to almost enjoy them. In some cases, it’s just bad luck. In other cases, it’s because they are skilled at problem-solving, so more opportunities come their way. But most people shy away from problems. We delay pain in favor of instant rewards. It’s understandable. And most of all, it’s human.
Each week, I publish this newsletter in hopes of inspiring us to “elevate” our own conversation. To get more comfortable with ideas and thoughts we typically aren’t exposed to. I believe, as you well know, that we have wrapped ourselves in ideological insulation, which effectively takes the opinions and ideas we are comfortable with and traps them, allowing them to echo and repeat ad nauseum. These are almost quarantine “pods” of ideas, to put it in more recent terms. This is like going to the gym and only working on your legs. Or exclusively taking math classes in school. Or, perhaps, only painting in one color. You get the point. In a rich, colorful, and pluralistic society, we need to be constantly exposed to a broad set of ideas, especially ideas that are uncomfortable and even disturbing to us. That is the best environment for innovation and the pursuit of new ideas, which will ultimately benefit us all. Without it, we will all lose. The same is true in our ecosystem. As we know, without the diversity of species, life is over.
So, first, here’s a tribute to “the crazy ones.” Apple's incredible commercial from 1987 that celebrates rather beautifully a concept that I love: the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are often the ones that do. Most, if not all, of these people and their ideas, were ridiculed, rejected, and contested before they eventually became part of our new reality. Or, as Mahatma Gandhi used to say: "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
(If you play this video now, please be sure to come back and finish reading – I still have much to say!!)
Now, returning to problems and knee-jerk reactions. I am providing a “test” of our muscles of just listening to ideas we might previously have rejected (before even listening to them). Below, I link to a talk by Anand Giridharadas from a summit held in 2017. For many, I know that Anand can be polarizing and quite provocative. I once had the opportunity of discussing some of his ideas at Chicago Ideas Week. You can watch it here. There’s a “preamble” to that conversation here, as well as some other people’s views here. The intent was NOT to debate (per my general disposition), but rather to rise above that impulse (as you’ve probably noticed, I like to say, elevate) and let various people tell their stories. All from different angles. I questioned Anand about solutions. Mainly because I tend to agree more with his framing of problems than his implicit or explicit solutions. His simple answer was: “I am not bringing solutions. I am bringing the problems.” When I probed further, he replied: “Every book doesn’t have to bring an answer, it can illuminate the questions.”
I would love for you to listen to this talk. It's a powerful call to action for all of us. It’s also a good “practice” in trying to refrain from any judgment on solutions and, rather, hear the arguments for change. And if we all could, with more frequency and more urgency, just stay on the questions, I think we might find more productive and constructive answers. The line I found the most compelling given our current moment was:
“To accept that what is not our fault may be our problem”
I think that pretty much summarizes our political sclerosis and the reason why our politics aren’t serving us well. We are simply stuck in an endless cycle of allocating blame and pointing fingers. It’s unproductive. It makes us all defensive. We all walk with our guards up high and spend most of our time building fortresses around OUR view versus building bridges to better ones. Our divisive chatter has become so focused on disagreeing about the course of action that we don’t even have the opportunity to mutually acknowledge the problem we are trying to solve. This is where the pause I mentioned earlier would come in handy – more often than not, we are getting ahead of ourselves in the interest of disagreement.
Yet, there are many problems we can agree on. We can furthermore agree that most of those problems affect all people (albeit, very differently) and the world would be a better place for all if we reduced their impacts and converted some of them to opportunities.
By embracing problems, we will uncover opportunities. It’s a fact. Most, if not all, great innovations were born from a process of solving seemingly intractable problems. Those inventors didn’t approach those problems by being defensive or by worrying about whose fault it is that we didn’t have electricity, cars, washing machines, etc. They saw an opportunity to improve the current state of affairs, and they took it.
I will end by quoting Anand from that same speech in 2017. I think it cannot be said much better. It truly inspired me. I hope it does the same for you. Read it out loud. It’s a call for action for all of us to get in the game. Or as Phil Knight of Nike once said: "Don’t be a spectator in the sport of life." Or to refer to (yet again) Theodore Roosevelt’s famous Man in the Arena speech about being just that. In the Arena!
“For decades, we imagined democracy to be a supermarket, where you popped in whenever you needed something. Now we remember that democracy is a farm, where you reap what you sow.
For decades, we thought of citizenship as a possession. Now we remember that it is something you do, not something you hold.
For decades, we told ourselves it was better to solve problems privately, outside the pathways of citizenship, because politics was broken. Now we remember that a country is only as good as its politics, and that political decay is not an excuse to flee but a reason to dive in.
This moment makes it plain that we need a new age of reform, not just a flurry of initiatives. That the best defense against hatred is offense — an evangelism of love.
”
— ANAND GIRIDHARADAS ON OCTOBER 31, 2017
Here are some examples of "problems" that we all have reasons to embrace since they affect us all:
The Anand Giridharadas speech in full
A very good op-ed by Bret Stephens on how the extremes have taken over while most of us are in the middle. Whether the (third party) "solution" is right is not the point, but the "problem" here is well defined.
Great post inspired by Tim Beck at Character Lab around decoding emotions and how they can fool you. Really important when unpacking "problems" to avoid being too emotional.
Bill Maher had a funny piece on China and why we have lost to them. This is certainly a "problem." While a bit exaggerated, lots of painful truths in there. Here is perhaps a more "tempered" version and rebuttal. Not as funny. Worth listening to both.
On last week's blog about Becoming Nobody, thank you to those who shared THIS article from Wall Street Journal about ideas for why that is a good idea and how to practice more of it
Ok. That's it. Last week was a difficult topic – working on becoming nobody. This week is, perhaps, an equally tall order. Listening to problems without judging or taking them personally is VERY hard. But also happens to be very important. Therefore, it fits the bill on what this newsletter is all about.
If you have found a problem that first made you emotional, but later provided an opportunity for positive change, please share. We should all celebrate that together!
